While my life has been a quiet one of late (which I’ve enjoyed) there are situations and people who caused said situations to which I would like to express my perspective, then leave in the past.
I have a handful of friends. I know who these said friends are. Anyone of whom I do not regularly speak to, that I follow, friend or occasionally lurk, are not part of that handful. Although I am friendly, make no mistakes that you will know when I am just being polite and when I am attempting to be a friend.
There were situations and actions that took place in the past involving considerably well-known boys of my hometown area and myself that led to the opinion of those who never took the time to genuinely get to know me, and those who decided to judge all too quickly, that I was …well, (for lack of a better term) a skank.
Had these particular people been genuinely interested in getting to know me, instead of listening to anything said boys were circulating amongst their friends, and following, friending or occasionally lurking various social networking sites in an attempt to keep tabs or make fun of me, it’s possible such an opinion would’ve never come to fruition. While I am almost positive that most of said people -the previously mentioned well-knowns and those individuals associated with them- still think I am a dumb bitch, a stupid cunt, or an otherwise completely worthless individual, this must be said:
I was never, ever, attempting to sabotage your relationship; even despite whatever feelings I may have had at the time, I am not and never have been an intentionally hurtful person. I will admit my presence probably wasn’t the best idea but the friendship I formed, regardless of its actual importance to the other party, meant something to me. Something I have yet to find in anyone else.
You may point a finger at me but, I feel it’s necessary to remember such situations and actions take two individuals, not just one. (In a spontaneous and almost unintentional nod to Brand New:) I was the lamb, he was the slaughterer. So, if forgiveness can be found for the slaughterer(s) why continue to harbor such a strong feeling of hate for the lamb when no attempt was made to see under the wool?
You must’n be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.
You stick your hand out the window of a moving car, and the breeze blows against your palm. You move it every direction you can think of, and drink in the sensation on your skin.
We are reminded that we will grow one day, big and strong and as impervious as stone castles; metaphorical motes, with figurative crocodiles and proverbial bridges… we will build to let the selective few across and into a safe haven of who we are now. Tonight, we are just flesh and bone disasters, crashing into one another. Honest in complexities, untamed by responsibilities. Like dry sticks brought together, we’re attempting to start a fire that will make stone castles useless, inevitably. You can’t burn stone, but you can set ablaze what lives inside it. Hoping that the wind carries.
You stick your hand out the window of a moving car and the breeze blows against your palm. You move it in every direction you can think of, and drink in the sensation on your skin.
No night will feel like tonight ever again, but you can always dare to dream bigger than stone can be built.
While many of you may have not asked, I am almost certain you are on the edge of your seats with curiosity about what items my pittering-pattering cardiovascular organ desires for my upcoming birthday (July 28th).
[It should be noted that anything given or intended for me that is not on this list is more than welcomed, unless it’s a flaming bag of dog crap on my doorstep. You can keep that shit to yourself.]
#1. Good Day Sunshine Fragrance/Body Lotion/Shower gel from Victoria’s Secret
#2. Tarte Matte Natural Lip Stain in Hope at Sephora.
#3. OPI for Sephora, Havana Nights Collection in Read My Palm at Sephora.
#4. Toothed Dandeys Print from UrbanOutfitters.com